Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Draw my Life - Post Transition 2011-2021

 Well it's been a while since I've made a post, let alone a youtube video about myself. 

I figured it was time. This is a lot of updates on surgeries but also new hobbies, relationships, and life in general over the years. I hope you enjoy: 


Sunday, March 21, 2021

My 2nd published book: Deceiving Destiny

 Last year I published my first book and then in November for NaNoWriMo, I decided to work on a new story. It's a spinoff of my first book but not necessarily connected. That is , you don't have to read the first to read the second. 

Quick summary: 

When life’s got you down, it’s often difficult to be grateful for the good things you have. We often long for different circumstances in our past with hopes of making our present better.

What would it be like to get everything you ever wanted instead of the life you have now?

Alexandra, a transgender woman, is about to find out.

Be careful what you wish for.

Trigger warnings: transphobic slurs, intentional misgendering, profanity, suicide, and some sexual content.

I hope you all enjoy. If so, please review it for me! =) 


Thursday, November 26, 2020

My book is now in paperback!

 Reality Reflections, published in Jan 2020, is now available in paperback too! 


I don't know why I didn't do this sooner; it was fairly simple and mostly involved creating an actual cover.


Saturday, June 6, 2020

Dressing down for respect and to blend in?

Someone asked on a forum recently:

As a woman, have you found dressing femininely has any downside professionally?

I felt my repsonse was bloggable:

This is an interesting topic for me.

When I first transitioned at work, I was learning to dress. I tended to try to dress casual (for the software field) and I experimented with what I liked , didn't like, was appropriate, not appropriate, etc.

For a while there, I found I would 'dress down' so as to 'blend in' and not have my trans-ness questioned.

At some point, I said screw that noise and started dressing more femininely. Dresses, skirt suits, heels, etc. Mostly exclusively.

At one job I did have someone spread a rumor that I was a 'transvestite', mind you i'd never come out to my employer or coworkers at this job. That rumor was a huge hit to my ego and my style and soon after I left that job.

I started at a new place and still kept up with my outfits the way I liked them mostly. One random day I wore suit pants or jeans or something and someone commented on 'wow I dont think I've ever seen you in pants' (implying I always wore skirts/dresses). Mixed feelings about these types of comments. On one hand I felt like 'shit, do they assume I'm trans?' but on the other hand I felt like 'That's right. I like dresses and style.'

Over the years I've come to OWN the fact that I like to dress nicer than most software developers. And every new job I tend to have to 'train' everyone to realize that yes 'she is always dressed nice'. At my latest job they had a fun 'fancy friday' competition and I kept winning it so I opted to become one of the judges instead lol.

As for respect, I feel like unfortunately yes, people who have not worked with me and see me for the first time often judge me like I'm some bimbo.....BUT just like training people to get used to seeing me wearing nice clothes, people who work with me come to understand very quickly that I'm not just sharp but also that I don't take shit from people. haha

What's my point? I guess live your life. I tell myself over and over, I didn't transition to dress down in jeans and tees lol. But everyone has their own style and life.
Find yours. <3

Saturday, January 4, 2020

I wrote a book!

You read that right, I wrote a small novellette (8000 words). I started this in 2016 when I was recovering from FFS in San Francisco. It's been through a few readings, critiques, and even a full run-through of changes with another friend but I think it's arrived at a good place. I was able to publish it via Kindle Direct Publishing and set it at a very low price of $1.99.

Please check it out!

Here's the summary:

Mirrors are fascinating objects. They show us what we look like when we cannot see our own selves. Sometimes they show us the realities we don’t want to confront.
Some people even speculate that mirrors are doors to other dimensions.

Janet is an average woman who’s never thought about what transgender people go through so she blatantly disregards their narrative as invalid. She’ll soon have a lot to learn.

Saturday, April 6, 2019

Beyond Gender Podcast Interview: Stealth

I was excited to do an interview on Beyond Gender, a podcast I've listened to for a while now.

I got to tell some of my story and talk about what 'stealth' has meant to me, etc.

Check it out: http://www.beyondgenderpod.com/ep-093-stealth/

Friday, February 1, 2019

Poem: Distant

This is something I wrote when I moved away into a new condo I bought for myself. My husband and I had already separated at that point but the fact that the condo was farther from him and closer to work was going to mean I wouldn't see him as often.


These walls are now bare
Most everything’s packed
The day’s finally come
It’s all now so real
I’m moving away

Things quickly have changed
In an up and down way
Emotions, commitments, 
My heart feels like it’s been 
Put through 
the ringer.

And yet here we are
Somehow on good terms
As we both make plans
For our new future lives

When I came to this place
I was heart-set with hope
We could still make things work
We just couldn’t live together

How much can change
In just 7 months
Neither of us are ready
To forever part ways
But this will make things more

It was a space of my own
After years of sharing
A place to explore myself
As well as grieve
on my own, in my own

Not meant to be permanent
But I didn’t think
I’d move again so quickly
It’s almost more significant
Than moving out of your 

We’ll still see each other
You’ll help me with my condo
As I help you sell things
And encourage your move to Hawaii
But now things will definitely be more

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