Monday, July 13, 2009

Crying out

I feel like such a letdown
things don't add up
why do I feel this way?
What makes me this way?
Why can't I be happy
just being a man?
If I dress, my wife is unhappy
she'll look at me
and longingly wish for her husband back
not realizing he's standing right here
it's still ME!
If I don't dress, I'll have to bury this desire
my wife will be happy
we'll go on with our days
until I cannot hold it any longer
like trying to hold a raging river back
with only my bare hands.
And then she'll wonder
why did this happen all of the sudden?
When it was still there all along
hidden in my heart.
Or maybe I could get rid of it
this part of myself
but how can you really cut off your hand
unless you completely abhor it?
Well she hates it; she's told me many times.
I believe that if she could,
she'd rip it out of me
me, screaming the whole way.
Her hatred of it
is of the blackest kind
and is only there
because of her love for me
or at least of what she thinks
is me.
Take this burden from me, God
I don't know what to do.


teresabowers said...

OY-what are we going to do with you?

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