Friday, July 17, 2009

Savanna Has Left The Building

After my "revelation" blog post, I realized that I cannot continue along the path I've been walking since March of this year.

I must turn back....or I risk losing myself completely.

Last night, I began the purge. I moved all of my Savanna clothes, shoes, wigs, and breast forms to another room where I'll ask my wife to help me either sell them or dump them.

I know it will be hard but I know that with God, my Christian brothers, and my wife by my side that I can get through it.

I won't be on twitter anymore (least not as Savanna) or on any of the forums or on Yahoo IM and I won't be checking that email account anymore either. Thanks for the kind words and general understanding you all provided during this time in my life.

I wish you all the best,

Savanna has left the building.

5 comments:

teresabowers said...

I used to tell friends that I'd straignten up when my uncle did-he's a hunchback!

Lynn Jones said...

Hi,

Just surfed on in here after your post on Roses.

Purging? Ooo, there's a tough one. It sounds like you've made up your mind, but please just take it slowly. Don't throw everything away overnight. Sure, box it up and put it out of sight and out of mind, but don't trash it.

I'd like to second Jess's well wishes in your plans. If putting it all aside is what *you* really want, then good luck.

Lynn
x

MgS said...

Savanna,

I wish you well - whatever your path is.

As others have said, purging is a pretty drastic step.

Please, pay attention to what's going on inside - is purging what you want, or is it a fear response? (certainly, there's a lot of unknowns as we walk our individual paths to finding our balance place in the world) Have you found your balance in the world, or does it feel like you are still going to be fighting with yourself?

I wish you all the best - and hope that somewhere today you find peace with yourself.

- Michelle

Stacy Brahm said...

I worry that you will find yourself more conflicted trying to bury a significant piece of yourself, but your motives are pure and cant be faulted. In fact, if ever there was a reason to make sacrafices I would think that love would definitely be at the top of the list!

I hope you are able to find some everlasting peace and wish you godspeed on your journey. Dont forget the friends you leave behind, alot of people still do care.

Take care,

-Stacy

Teena said...

I've done it SOOO many times. What I told myself was along these lines:

1. If I keep the stuff, it's not really repentance.

2. If I believe God, that I don't need this stuff anymore, then throwing it out will be no problem.

3. Throwing it out is a step of faith, much like Peter stepping out of the boat and onto the water. Peter didn't have the ability to walk on water until he took that first step of stepping out of the boat.

But when I kept coming back kept buying more things to replace the things I had thrown away, I decided that such behavior, over and over again, is insanity. Insanity.

The serenity prayer rings true.
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

God bless you, Savannah, on your journey.

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