Friday, August 21, 2009

Trans Dreams

I had a few dreams last night. First night I've gotten more than 5 hours of sleep all week.

Dream #1
I was dressed up as a woman and I had my breast forms again. I was sitting at the computer in my parent's house that I grew up in when I was in elementary school.

My mother came in and came up to me and softly touched my breasts and said "What are these?" very innocently, sweetly. I said "Mom, they're my breast forms." She replied with the sweetest most loving and comforting voice: "You know, we can always get you real ones." My heart felt like it would burst with happiness before I woke up.

Dream #2
I was getting ready for work and I put on a dress. But I remember like putting on clothes over it and for some reason wearing suspenders too. Weird, i know. I get home from work and take it all off and again it's like at my parent's old house when I was in grade school. My sister sees the dress and comments that it's very cute. I immediately tell her that I wore it to work and she shrugged her shoulders indifferently.

Both of those dreams showed the women in my growing up life being accepting of me. Their real reactions would be devastatingly hurtful.

Dream #3
I was on facebook and I saw that my mother had taken a quiz about me that I had created. One of the questions was "What % female am I?" and she had said 0% and I had put the answer as 90%. I remember feeling dread knowing she had taken the quiz and might know something was up because of that question.

Dream #4
This one was not a trans-dream or in any relation as far as I can tell. I met a hot chick and was hanging out with her somewhere. At some point I got too close to a garbage can or something and the smell was on my clothes. I remember wearing my green shirt with black long sleeves. We went back to her place and i met her roommates. All the girls in the dream were very pretty and had very well done purple eyeshadow. They complained about the garbage smell and I felt self conscious and apologized and said I'd go home and shower. The chick didn't want me to leave and I almost invited her to come with me and hang out at my place. I figured we'd probably end up making out or something and it was then that it struck me that I was married! What was I even doing? And I looked down at my hand and it did still have my wedding ring on it. I wonder if she had noticed. Then I woke up.

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