Sunday, August 9, 2009

Unbearable Iniquitiy

Can a kitchen knife

cut through the heart?

If I jumped off my roof

would I die?

Is there a bridge nearby

where my body can be found

tomorrow

dashed upon the rocks?

Could I drive the wrong way

on the freeway?

Would my truck be too tough

would I just be paralyzed?

Could I allow my body

to fall down the stairs

without putting my hands out

to catch me?

And would I hit my head

hard enough

to not wake up?

What pills could I take

to end this suffering?

Why am I so downcast?

My soul is condemned

by the one I love.

She wails endlessly

hysterically

and it's all my fault.

The sound of her cry

sends needles through

my heart.

What's inside me

causes her trepidation.

And yet the same

emotions are present

within her:

overwhelming, heart-longing

enormous hope.

Such huge expectation

that denial of these desires

is equivalent to utter despair.

How can such emotions

be present in both of us

and yet conflict

in such paradox?

Guilt tells me

she would be better

without me.

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