Thursday, April 29, 2010

Controversy: Post-op, should you be up front about being TG when dating?

I usually use my blog for telling everyone about my life and my transition but today I wanted to ask a question that isn't necessarily something I need to worry about for another year and a half but I'm still curious.

Over the last few months, I've had the chance to experience the dating life of a transgender woman. At first, I began by not posting my transgender status on my online profiles and I seemed to get a LOT of guys interested in me. I figured I could get to know a guy and then before we actually met in person, I'd have to tell him.

Well, I found that this helped weed out so-called "tranny chasers" but still posed a problem when I finally had to "come out" to somebody I'd been talking to. Most men seem to have a problem with being involved with a transgender woman even after they get to know you. The most common response I got from accepting guys was: "Oh that's cool.....well do you have any single friends?" Essentially, showing they were not interested in me any longer.

At some point, I decided to just start posting my transgender status on my profiles, therefore weeding out the guys that would not be interested in the first place. The problem of course with this is that the tranny chasers start sending messages instead. I've found that the majority of responses I now get are guys that want a girl with male genitals....which I of course don't want anything to do with.

Anyway, the point of this blog post is to ask a question and get feedback from everybody. The question is:

Whether you were up front about your transgender status Pre-op or not.....Post-op, should you still be so up front about it? I mean the physical anatomical parts are no longer a concern but of course your male past will still most likely have to be delved into at some point if you get close enough to somebody.

What do you think?


Paige Tamar said...

So I am totally ignorant about all this, but to me I think it's best to be upfront about it. Maybe this isn't the right reason, but I just have heard so many horror stories about people not taking it well and harming the other person. I guess I just worry that not everyone is as evolved as we are and I would never want anything to happen to you. I guess it's about timing, you don't want it to have to be the first thing people know about you but then again you don't want to wait too long either. Maybe like a second date kind of thing? I feel like I'm rambling again...*sigh*

Laura said...

it is better to be up front about things but we still live in a age with fear and ignorance rule.We have to hope some day that the rest of the world will evolve. Just being who you are is a great thing. We don't ask to much approval from people but we still need it in some way to fit in. Let your heart guide you in this matter and hopeful it will not guide you wrong.

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