Monday, September 13, 2010

Bittersweet Moment

I had a conversation with my ex-wife last week where she told me she had a boyfriend. She told me that she had run into someone she had known in high school and they had really hit things off nicely. She described him and how they had talked for hours and I found myself being so completely happy for her. In fact instead of feeling jealous that she was with someone that was not me.....I found myself being jealous that she had met such a nice guy and I hadn't met that guy for me yet. At the same time, I am really overjoyed that she has found someone special.

When we had split up, I had hoped for this. I had hoped that she would be able to find a nice guy that could treat her like she should be treated and love her. Since our split almost a whole year go, I have cried for her, cried missing her, cried remembering our 8 years together. It was not without a lot of pain and grief that I began moving on myself, dating other people.

By the time our divorce was finalized, I dare say at least part of my heart was over her. That said, there may always be a side of me that will always love her and cherish the memories we made together. But I was able to see early on in my transition that she would not be able to accept it and we both would be miserable together. And so we both learned how to move on.

A bittersweet moment in time.

5 comments:

Rick Muth said...

Debra, I think that no matter what the situation maybe, a part of her will always care and love her. I had a break up with with someone I was engaged to.While I know now, that what we had could never work; I do know that part of me will always care for her, and I will always cherish the time I had with her. That being said, I think that you have a healthy attitude about the whole situation. with that in mind, i will say that your time will come. I have found that when you stop looking, that is when you find someone.

Shannon said...

Sweetheart, I had tears running all the way thru this post. I've seen it before and it dinna affect me quite this way. I was crying for Jessica; I was crying for you. I was crying for my ex and for my kids and for myself. There are times when the word bittersweet cannot be improved upon. I love you! You have a beautiful future ahead of you, I am glad and I am proud that you can celebrate the future Jess has in front of her.

Violet.X8 said...

Your making me cry : ' ( ......but being honest to ones you love and setting them free is right thing to do.....super hard.....but right.

Funny, I'm in the same position, shopping for my wife's next husband:-)

Debra said...

Thanks for the comments everyone. It's truly a bittersweet moment.

Justine said...

Debra

I don't think I have ever watched a video that filled me with such emotion as this one did. I had tears running down my eyes, but I wasn't so much as sad as I was happy for you. I think it's lovely that you made this video as a tribute to your old life and you ex. The song that you chose was just perfect too, I don't know what it is but it was just beautiful. I love how at the end of the video there were pictures of Debra with your ex too.

All the best Debra. Off to find the tissues now.

Love Justine (@justinehay)

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