Monday, April 4, 2011

Realization Shedding Cocoons

Today is 20 days post-op....20 days since a metaphorical second birth. 3 days in the hospital, 3 days in a recovery house, 3 days in a hotel, 1 day flying, and 10 days at home.

When a caterpillar goes into its cocoon to become a butterfly, it can take as long as 5 instars before it blossoms as a new butterfly. An instar is the period of 2-4 weeks between sheddings of "skin" of the cocoon. Each time, the shedding happens, the pupa's new skin gets bigger allowing for more room for growth.

I feel like I'm experiencing the same thing. I experienced the hospital and all its pain and torment, even a fearful complication, headache and nausea and some rest at the recovery house, dilation for the first time at the hotel, other possible complications, over-exhausting myself on the day of flight, coming home and dealing with the beginnings of a new life, all the time while continuing to heal and dealing with physical pain. Each new experience is like another instar of the process. And I know at some point soon, I'll be able to shed that last cocoon and spread my wings.

Remember when I said there would be a lot of firsts happening? Well that is definitely the case. Two days ago, I had one of those stupid revelations I've spoken of. I realized that I would never....have to tuck.....again. Stupid right? I mean is Captain Obvious speaking here or what? But it really finally hit me and I couldn't help but smile.

I have a feeling more of those revelations are going to happen. Everyday that goes by, my heart becomes a little more grateful, more joyful.


Ariel said...

When you're swollen and in discomfort, those realizations don't always hit home. For a while, I felt like I still had something down there -- not a phantom anything, but just a lot of bulk. So the fact that these things might hit you later just makes sense.

I like the instar metaphor. I didn't know that about butterflies.

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