Monday, May 16, 2011

Can't take the romance out of the girl

Someone commented on the last blog post saying that now that surgery was over, there was another journey ahead of me: Life. I can definitely see that starting to unfold.

It's interesting. Since I've become more attuned and satisfied with my body, I've started discovering more about myself sexually. I'm at a place in my life where I can freely admit to myself that I have bedroom desires that many people probably don't have but I may have been afraid to admit such things before because of the possibility of it being confused with the transition I just went through. Don't worry, I have no plans of going into great detail about any such things but the open and honest part of me still wanted to share this new piece of my life with you all.

Unsurprisingly, any raw sexual desires I have, I find myself wrapping in familiar packaging. I don't just want sex with anybody. I want it with someone I love deeply, like no other....and equally as important, someone who loves me just as much. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking down on anybody who enjoys casual encounters. I'm just expressing my own desire for sex to continue to only be with someone I know, love, and trust completely.

A friend of mine spent the night this weekend because he had a falling out with his roommate and needed to cool off. He left early the next morning for work while I was still in bed but before he departed, he softly kissed me on the cheek. Besides thinking that was really "sweet", I took note of how such a simple act made me feel loved. Maybe it's because a kiss on the cheek is so much more innocent than on the lips, I don't know.

It reminds me of a dream I had a couple months ago:

I was looking out of the window of a house with an unidentified but familiar man standing behind me and it started to snow. It snowed rather quickly and the whole yard was covered in less than a second or two. I said aloud : “wow I’ve never seen it snow that fast before” (This was a hint that it was a dream but I didn't notice). I stood there and took in the beauty and leaned back on the guy and he held me close. Then he ever so slowly, holding me like I was a fragile china doll, softly kissed me on the cheek. It was so intimate as his lips took a lifetime in their touch softly brushing against my cheek. I was so overwhelmed that I felt like crying tears of pure joy.

So today I found myself once again pondering when I'd find true love. I guess no matter what, you just can't take the romance out of the girl. ;)


Lucy Melford said...

And why shouldn't you yearn for romance?

I agree that the soft kiss on the cheek would have felt really good and said things like 'I like you' and 'thank you for letting me stay over' and 'I care' in a way that mere words can't. And that's an important part of sex, the mutual signalling that the partners care for each other and reserve this kind of intimacy for themselves, and their own special moments when the mood and situation are right. That's why it doesn't really matter if one (or neither) has a spectacular orgasm, although if it happens it can live on in memory like a legend.

Good luck on finding true love. But ensure you keep it by examining your personality now for things that could ruin it. We all have them.


Teagan said...

Well, I hope that the Rapture doesn't come on Saturday. That wouldn't give you much time to find true love. But, working off the assumption that Saturday isn't the beginning of the end of the world, like just about every other question we ask ourselves, frustratingly there's no answer.

One thing I'm not no sure about with respect to Lucy's comment... analyzing your own personality for things that could ruin true love. There is someone out there for everyone, whatever their quirk or imperfection is. Just be yourself as you always have and you'll do fine.


Ariel said...

This entry made me smile. Must be the romantic in me. :) I'm sure you will find someone whom you will love and who will love you. And have awesome sex with that person.

Valeta said...

Sex is much better when you are in love. Rather then some random person.

Ariel said...


There are lots of situations between "in love" and "some random person." :)

Dana Andra said...

Awhile back, I said to my girlfriend ~ who I am so in love with and feel so lucky to have met ~ that I used to wonder who my next partner would be, and where she was, and what she was doing at any given moment, and that I'm so happy that I don't need to wonder anymore. She just said, "Soppy goose," which is her term of endearment for overly romantic folks like you and me. She's romantic, too, but she's also a Brit. Sex, and even more importantly, life, is better when you're in love. There's just nothing else like it.

You'll find your happiness, hon...

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