Friday, May 27, 2011

Passionate Careers

Even though I can play an instrument and sing, I tell people that I’m not a musician. Unlike the musicians that I’ve met, I don’t practice the art constantly or try to better myself in that area. It’s always been more of a side-hobby than anything. Yet I know true musicians live for those moments in their music....it’s their passion.

I’ve recently realized that my brother is the same way. His passion is acting. He doesn’t care if he ever makes it big or how much money he makes. All he cares about is being able to act as much as possible. You should see how his eyes light up as he tries to explain to me what it’s like. He’s truly inspiring.

Lately I’ve wondered what my real passion in life is. Growing up, it was always computers. Working on them, writing programs for them, playing games on them, it didn’t seem to matter. In high school, I knew I was going to graduate college with a degree in Computer Science and end up in some kind of job doing the same. And that’s exactly what happened.

But back then, I lived and breathed computers. It wasn’t work, it was a way of life. Even right up to the beginning of my transition, I was working on an iPhone application at home outside of my standard 9-5 work hours. But that’s where things began to fall off track.

During transition, I found a new person inside me. No longer was I content with being cooped up at home in front of a computer. Sure, I had to deal with it at work and that was fine but when I went home, I found myself going on outings, socializing with friends, joining groups, and in general being much more active. Because of this, I often had fleeting thoughts of going back to school and changing careers but it was always something I could think about later.

I’ve always thought my passion was for computers but now I just don’t know. I still enjoy working with them sometimes but it’s definitely not the same as it used to be. I find that I really enjoy blogging and in particular creating special videos that inspire emotion as some of mine seem to. The feedback I received from others who could relate to any piece of my transition was always very heartfelt.

Because of this, I wondered how I could better my community or see more to the needs of others. Cosmetology and Mental Health Counseling seemed to be interests that sprouted from that thought but I’m still unsure if either is really right for me. And then my thoughts lapse into taking the easy road and staying in the computer field. I make good money and not everyone gets to love their job, right?

Do you remember in high school when you had to take those career placement tests? They never really mattered much to me because I knew I was going to be working with computers. Now I’m finally experiencing what some peers probably did back then, wondering which path to take. The possibilities are endless but I imagine only a couple will be truly right for me.

8 comments:

Shannon said...

Personally, I think you are still young and there -are- many opportunities that might be the new passion. Jesus didn't start his Passion till he was 30 and He knew exactly what he wanted to do. Let your heart go! You are young and beautiful and intelligent and a sensitive, loving woman! The world is there for you!

Ariel said...

I agree with Shannon. You're young enough to consider any number of possibilities, including continuing with what you're doing, only in a different balance with the rest of your life. We usually do discover new things about ourselves during transition and beyond -- in my case, that I was much more social than I had thought, and that I liked helping others.

One way to explore new areas is to volunteer. That's something I've done in the past and want to do again.

Shannon said...

Ariel has some good wisdom there. The first thing she mentioned is find the new balance to your life. You are no longer hiding from yourself and everyone else behind the computer and the developing. The developing was a passion, yes, that you _needed_ to protect yourself. It is something you are still very good at. But you need to find the center, the balance of your life. And volunteering, whether to test new waters or to give back to a community, is a great place to begin to find that balance point.

Teagan said...

I've wondered about that, too... was always good at a lot of things, but was never passionate about any of them. I suppose that once transition is fully out of the way, it'll give women like us room to find that passion. As Ariel mentioned, volunteering is a good way to go... it's something I've thought about, once I have all this stuff out of the way.

I hope we both don't end up in the computer field forever.

Robyn Mills said...

I've read just about all your blog and followed you on Youtube. It's been fascinating watching you develop into a beautiful woman.. You're an inspiration to all of us... :)

bjkatcher said...

Based on your comments on my blog, I think you'd do a lot of good in the mental health field, you obviously have a lot of empathy. www.briankatcher.com

Cynthia said...

Always pray for guidance when making all decisions of great importance. Let the Lord you belong to guide you. Somehow I believe you will make the right decision and be the best at whatever you decide to do. You are very intelligent and very charming. You will fit in where ever you go. Compassion knows no bounds.

As always, my prayers go with you,

Many hugs,

Cynthia

Debra said...

Thank you everyone for your comments. This'll be something I ponder for a while yet and maybe like some have said...volunteer some as well

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