Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Unique Understanding Inside Us

This morning, as I was getting ready for the day, I was thinking about how happy I am now, living a completely different life than I did 2 years ago.

About a year ago, my counselor had told me it didn't matter if I really was a girl inside biologically, chemically, or medically. If living as a woman was what made me happy and helped me integrate into society better then it was worth changing.

At the time, I refused her reasoning because I believed to make this painful and lossy transition, you had to have biological and medical backing. Not simply mental, as she proposed. But as I was doing my makeup today and looking at myself in the mirror in just my underwear, I could only smile and ponder how I could have ever lived any other way.

And if I can feel like my life is so much more fulfilled even with what medical backing I believe I have, why can't someone who didn't, feel the same? Why can't we live our lives the way we as individuals, need to? Whether you believe it's medical or mental, as long as they're not harming anyone, what does it really hurt?

CNN had an article yesterday about a boy who went through repairative therapy at a very young age and committed suicide at age 38. It's an extremely sad story that struck several different cords with me. Those around him said he lived a fairly 'normal' life after the therapy but it would seem that there was still trouble brewing inside.

While reading this article, my thoughts were taken back to when I was struggling with my own identity and the solutions my parents and church asked me to consider such as testosterone and repairative therapy. Where would I have been today if I had gone along with such plans? I can only assume that if I had survived, I may have still ended up like the boy in the article, committing suicide with many years still left ahead of me.

Society has these standards that we are all supposed to conform to. Some of these standards are merely fads that fade in and out over the years and others have still only been around for a couple of centuries. As our understanding grows about the human way of life, I hope that more people can open their minds and hearts to the differences found in each one of us....even if they'll never fully understand them personally.

Every one of us is a unique human being and while we can relate to other individuals in various ways, there will always be those parts of us that nobody could ever understand unless they lived inside of us.


Cynthia said...

Hi Debra,

As I have been following your story, I have seen a profound change in you. You are so much happier and compassionate. I truly believe you made the right choice for you. To have tried any of those things that other people would try to force on you would in all probability have ended in disaster.

Be sure to follow your heart and the Lords will. He will never lead you astray.

Again I thank you for all you have done for me, both personally, and with my blog. I pray for you always every day.



Ps: Going to Safari seems to have fixed my commenting problem. Now for Google Friends; I can't find how and where to load the code.

Jen said...

I agree with Cynthia. There is a profound difference that I can see in both your writing and Vlogs. It's a peace and happiness that I recognize in myself. It's a wonderful thing! As someone who was prescribed reparative and aversion therapy when I was a child, I can tell you that the end result wasn't the happiness that I have today. All those techniques do is cause repression. I for one am glad you found acceptance with yourself, and peace. My heart goes out to all those that haven't. Keep smiling!!!


brian said...

The funny thing about the guy who preformed the repairative therapy, George Rekers: he was later busted for hiring a male prostitute. Repress much?

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