Monday, September 10, 2012

BA Joy

Breasts. I've written posts about them. I've been jealous of other women with them. Through HRT, I was able to grow my own but I've always ended up trying to make up for how small they were. Stuffing my bra, extra padded pushups, and cleavage creating bikini tops.

When I had Gender Confirmation Surgery, my mom said to me: "Now all the dysphoria is gone." I remember immediately replying "No, not quite. Yes a major part of it but until my breasts are proportional, I'll still feel out of sync with myself."

Over the last year, I've been modeling and I had someone mention that if I had breast augmentation that I might not be able to do runway modeling. My immediate response was that it didn't matter. I felt like my body needed that change and I would make do whatever the consequences were.

A lot of the time, people think that women get breast augmentation because it's something their boyfriend wants or perhaps to attract the attention of men. My boyfriend on the other hand, simply supports me and really loves to see me happy, knowing this was something I really needed for myself.

At almost one week post-op from having breast augmentation I have to say I'm really very happy. No the girls aren't quite fully healed yet and they have a long ways to go before they settle into place and yet I feel an overwhelming sense of joy.

The recovery and the pain have both been much much better than with GCS and yet I am just so surprised at the amount of joy I'm feeling at having this new weight and tightness on my chest.

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