Friday, March 1, 2013

Trans 30 Day Challenge - Day 1

I came across the 30 day challenge recently and then the trans 30 day challenge and thought it may be helpful for some readers if I went through it for the month of March. Even though transition is pretty much over for me, this may be a good way to resurrect some of my past for others in similar situations to gain insight on. I may not be right on time with days and such but I'll do my best.

Day 1: When did you realize the term trans* referred to you?

Well there are a few different answers to this for me so I'll bullet them out:

- When I was in 5th or 6th grade, I told a close female friend of mine that I wished I was a girl. It's something I remember saying and yet I never let my mind or heart take it anywhere. It got buried along with many other tiny events like this growing up. To listen to more about that, see my Autotransography .

- I somehow have the date of February 21, 2009 in my mind for when I stumbled upon a web comic that involved a boy being accidentally transformed into a girl. Reading that comic triggered something inside of me, things buried from years past. I couldn't get enough of it and yet I didn't understand why it grasped my attention so fiercely. At the same time, a part of me couldn't understand why the boy in the comic was trying so hard to be transformed back into a boy. This eventually led to experimentation with crossdressing, some attempts at reparative therapy, and a lot of research and soul searching on my part.

- Mid-July of the same year, I had what you might call a revelation. That was probably a turning point in my life as I went from innocently exploring crossdressing to realizing I might indeed be transsexual. Battling depression and religion over the next month or so, I was finally able to push forward and transition.

So I guess all of those things had an element of when I realized I was trans.

2 comments:

Katherine M. Bradford said...

A great writing exercise, which has the potential to yield some great responses. I just finished a 45 day challenge (what you're now doing plus another 15) just recently. :)

Wendygrrl said...

Hum... for my day 1... I realized I was becoming more Trans as my self talk indentity was more as Wendy than as John... all this after a being a long time, part time CD'er living a dual life...

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