Sunday, March 3, 2013

Trans 30 Day Challenge - Day 3

Day 3: Have you ever been outed?

Yes of course. I've been outed before I was ready, I've outed myself when I was ready, and I've been semi-outed off and on since transition was behind me. Some of the times were appropriate, other times seemed to upset me very much. 

There have been times recently where I thought my life would be over if I was ever outed. I live a happy life of stealth nowadays and I enjoy the fact that nobody knows and that the issue or subject never really comes up anymore. That being said, I think I've come to a point of understanding that if there was such an 'outing', my life would go on. Sure things could change and yet a lot of things probably wouldn't. I and everyone else involved would go on with their lives.

Still I definitely prefer to live in a world where people do not need to know about my drastically different past.


Katie Scott said...

I've been recently been trying to figure out how to handle a situation where i've been outed at work after living in stealth for 7 months. At first I was furious about it which then turned into me questioning if I gave myself away and if I could have accidentally done that I would analyze every single thing I do that could have possibly outed myself. It seriously got to me pretty badly till I finally started talking more and more with coworkers who thankfully didn't care and were very accepting but I still have a few that refuse to talk to me and have even attempted to out me to customers. I'm in the middle of working with HR with things but it still has me a bit shaken up.

That incident was a month ago but I have my moments where I get scared of it happening again and trying to figure out who I would handle it differently than the last time. I just wish I would never happen again but i've come to realize that's probably just a pipe dream.

Sarah McCoy said...

Have you had regrets about making this video log?
Though it has probably been somewhat therapeutic to talk about your feelings along the way and certainly is helpful to others who have read the stages of your journey, you have given up anonymity.
It is impossible to put the jeanie back into the bottle.

Debra said...

@Sarah - Sure I've had some regrets but I try not to wallow in them.

I'm glad I was able to start using an alias here and enjoy somewhat of an anonymity now even if many of you remember me from before.

And in my everyday life, most don't know of my past. That's how I like to keep it.

@Katie - tough call. It sucks being outed and yeah it may not be the last time. There's always a chance of it happening again.

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