Thursday, April 20, 2017

My voice, then and now

Some of you remember that for the first 6 months of my transition, I went through voice / speech pathology / therapy with Sandy Hirsch. It was one of the best things I could ever have done for myself when it comes to 'passing' or just being able to live my life without being questioned about my past or treated differently because of it (for better or for worse).

In fact, it was because of my voice changing accidentally at work that I finally transitioned at work and started living full time as a woman.

I wanted to share my old voice (2010) vs my new voice (2016) to show what the possibilities are.

So where am I at nowadays?

Over the years, I've noticed my voice tends to drop when I:

  • get upset
  • talk about technical things
  • get haughty / arrogant
  • after a few drinks of alcohol
  • feeling safe/casual with girlfriends

Last year, I had a couple quick appointments with my voice therapist to talk about and adjust things. Her conclusion was that she had taught me everything she can teach me and the reality is....when I'm paying attention and aware, my voice sounds great! It's just in the cases listed above, I often lose awareness of it and let it drift. It never gets to male levels again but it does drift into androgynous zones.

I also recently started seeing a therapist again and he happens to also be a hypnotherapist. After beginning to try some mindfulness to be better aware of my emotions and voice in the moment, he and I have been working through some actual hypnotherapy sessions that are meant to reinforce my voice and awareness of my voice within my subconscious mind. It's pretty interesting and I do think it's helping.

So that's where I'm at. Voice therapy is really awesome and helps a lot for MTF transition but even with that, nothing's perfect and there's still a lot of other work involved.


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