Sunday, December 24, 2017

FFS: 1 year Post-op

Well I finally had my 1 year post-op appointment for FFS (Forehead reconstruction & rhinoplasty). I'm pretty happy with things but both the doctor and I agree that the tip of the nose could use some tweaking.

He said he'd do that for free and that it'd be a much simpler operation with no cast, just tape on the nose for ~ 2 weeks + at night after that for a bit. I'll of course have to pay for hospital and anesthesia but no surgeon fees. I'm definitely considering it , with all of that taken into account. Maybe next Winter.

The forehead itself, the only annoying thing was the scar and he said I did the right thing by getting hair transplants to cover it. He did show me a few other results (again) showing that the scar showing like that was not a common thing. So I guess I just got unlucky there.

Overall I'm pretty happy and feel like this has been a very good choice for me and my well being and self confidence.

I did also catch a look at some of these other results and noticed a trend of the wider nose bridge like I have now too. He said he wouldn't do it any differently because essentially it would mean not taking as much bone from the bridge of the nose and well you want that all to line up right so yeah.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

It never gets easier

It never gets easier.
After 8 years, you'd think you'd be over it.
Heck, you'd think I'd be over it.

I go weeks, months, without being confronted
by even a memory of you
let alone your selfish indulgence
of your own fantasies
while the rest of the world looks on
shrugging, uninterested.

Saying you still consider me to be male
to an obvious female face
in fact, so female
you can't even stand the sight of me anyway
so full of contradictions
well full of something anyway.....

Why did I ever reconnect with you, Dad?
What's even the point?
All you ever do is bring me down
or give me false hope
that someday you'll come to your senses.
I've tried texting, email, polo
and you won't even try to meet
in person anymore.
You're a waste
a waste of my time, my energy
my love.

I was better off cutting you out of my life
and yet I can't do that again
or I risk regrets.
When your life is over
I will have said to myself that
I tried.

But it never gets easier.

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