Tuesday, December 19, 2017

It never gets easier


It never gets easier.
After 8 years, you'd think you'd be over it.
Heck, you'd think I'd be over it.

I go weeks, months, without being confronted
by even a memory of you
let alone your selfish indulgence
of your own fantasies
while the rest of the world looks on
shrugging, uninterested.

Saying you still consider me to be male
to an obvious female face
in fact, so female
you can't even stand the sight of me anyway
so full of contradictions
well full of something anyway.....

Why did I ever reconnect with you, Dad?
What's even the point?
All you ever do is bring me down
or give me false hope
that someday you'll come to your senses.
I've tried texting, email, polo
and you won't even try to meet
in person anymore.
You're a waste
a waste of my time, my energy
my love.

I was better off cutting you out of my life
and yet I can't do that again
or I risk regrets.
When your life is over
I will have said to myself that
I tried.

But it never gets easier.

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